Whitney Cummings and Michael Rapaport Make Homemade Pizza w/ Bert Kreischer: Something’s Burning

Whitney Cummings and Michael Rapaport learn how to make pizza (sort of) on this episode of Bert Kreischer’s cooking show, SOMETHING”S BURNING. Special thanks to Gil Tamazyan (Platter Pizza)


For the Dough:
– 4 cups Italian tipo “00” flour or bread flour, plus extra for dusting
– 2 teaspoons kosher salt
– 1 teaspoon active dry yeast
– 1 1/2 cups water
– Cooking spray or olive oil to coat containers

For the Sauce:
– 1 (14-ounce) can whole peeled Italian tomatoes, preferably San

For the Toppings:
– 12 ounces fresh buffalo mozzarella or fresh cow’s milk mozzarella
(fiordi latte), cut into 1/4-inch slices or torn into small chunks
– Handful basil leaves
– 4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

– Make the Dough
– Combine flour, salt, and yeast in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with
a dough hook attachment. Mix to combine.
– Add water and mix to combine. Then, knead dough on low speed for
10 minutes. The mixture should come together into a unified mass
that barely sticks to the bottom of the bowl as it kneads. If dough
sticks, add flour 1 tablespoon at a time to the mixer while it is
running, until the mass barely sticks to the bowl. If the mixture is too
dry, add water 1 tablespoon at a time to the running mixer.
– Cover bowl tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 8
hours. It can be refrigerated for up to 72 hours.
– When ready to make pizza, transfer dough to a floured work surface. – Divide dough into four even sections.
– Coat four small containers or bowls with nonstick cooking spray or
olive oil.

– With floured hands, form each section into a ball. Place one dough
ball into each coated container or bowl. Lightly spray the top of each
dough ball with nonstick cooking spray or coat with olive oil.
– Cover each container or bowl tightly with plastic wrap, and let rise at
room temperature for 2 hours. Each dough ball should double in

Make the Sauce
– Make the sauce by either pushing the tomatoes through a food mill
or simply pulsing them in a food processor until a chunky liquid is
– Heat oven to at least 475 F, higher if your oven allows. If using a
pizza stone, place it in the oven to heat as well.
– Assemble the Pizzas
– Onto a well-floured surface, stretch out each ball into a 10-inch
circle. Use a floured rolling pin if you need it. Don’t worry about the
dough being a perfect circle!
– Place one dough ball onto a lightly floured pizza peel, shake gently to
ensure that the dough is not sticking.
– Spread about 1/3 cup of sauce over the dough, leaving about a 1/2-
inch edge unsauced.
– Top the sauce with a quarter of the mozzarella slices. Tear a few
basil leaves on top (according to your liking) and drizzle with 1
tablespoon of olive oil. You can also add the basil and olive oil after
the pizza is cooked.
– Transfer pizza from peel to the hot stone and bake about 5 to 7
minutes, until cheese is bubbly and crust is charred in places.
– Repeat with remaining dough balls and ingredients.


  1. Wow, look at all the comedians in the comments shitting on the guests. What groundbreaking work!

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