Beth Stelling & Greg Fitzsimmons Make Bert’s Favorite Taco Bell Foods: Something’s Burning

Fellow comedians, Beth Stelling & Greg Fitzsimmons (both writers on HBO’s Crashing), join Bert Kreischer to learn how to cook Bert’s favorite Taco Bell dishes: Mexican Pizzas, Crunch Wraps and Chocos Tacos. Bert may have finally washed his hands before cooking on this one too.



Start with the CHOCO TACO SHELLS (waffle cones):
Whisk together until no lumps remain:
2 whole eggs plus 2 egg whites
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons superfine sugar
1 cup plus 4 tablespoons all purpose flour
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted
4 tablespoons whole milk
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Heat waffle cone maker (pizzelle cookie maker)
Pour 3-3½ tablespoons batter into the center of discs
Cook until golden brown. Remove and fold over wooden spoon to form taco. Rest spoon between cups until cool (1 minute)
Carefully spoon ice cream into the cooled shells, smoothing the edges. Place in loaf pans upright and stacked against one another.
Refreeze ice cream tacos for a while.

Prepare the ingredients for the MEXICAN PIZZAS and CRUNCHWRAPS:
Heat a bunch of oil in pot for deep frying
Prepare taco meat
Combine Ground beef and Packaged taco seasoning
Heat up canned refried beans
Fry the 8-in flour tortillas until golden brown 30-45 seconds, then drain on paper towels
Assemble the pizzas:
-Top a fried tortilla with a thin layer of refried beans
-Then a layer of taco meat
-Put another tortilla on top of the taco meat
-Enchilada sauce on tortilla
-Put a few diced tomatoes and green chiles on top of red sauce
-Top with the Mexican blend cheese
-Put finished Mexican pizzas on cookie sheet and broil in oven until cheese is melted.
-Top with a few chopped green onions.
-Cut into fourths and serve.

While the Mexican Pizzas are getting melty, MAKE CRUNCHWRAP:
Heat 12-in flour tortilla to warm
Heat nacho cheese

Place ground beef mixture in the center of each tortilla.
Top with nacho cheese and tostada shell.
Spread sour cream in an even layer over the tostada shell
Top with lettuce, tomato and cheese.
Fold the edges up and over the center. Continue to work your way around the tortilla, folding as tight as possible.
Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in skillet. Place wrap seam-side down and cook until the underside is golden brown, about 2 minutes. Flip and cook wrap on the other side, about 1-2 minutes longer.

Finish the CHOCO TACOS:
Heat Chocolate chips in a pot until melted
Remove ice cream tacos from freezer- Dip in chocolate
Top with crushed peanuts if you want
Freeze for a sec then eat


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